Darcy Tucker Fan Club Revival

This might be a really bad idea. It might even be insane. Or maybe you should call it BatShit Crazy!Darcy Tucker is among a number of NHL Free-Agents still on the market. Wouldn't it be great to see him in a Leafs uniform again? Assuming he'd come here for cheap and with low expectations for playing time, why not bring that crazy sucker back for another go round, another shot at glory, another chance to make it all right again.

I know there are many good reasons why this is a terrible idea and will never happen. I'm sure I could think of a few of them too but right now I'm so in love with this idea that I can't.

Okay so he's still on the books against the cap for a million dollars a season, but in a way that's the beauty of the idea. If they're going to pay him to play somewhere, they might as well pay him to play here.

Has this ever happened before? Has a player ever been bought out only to return to that team while his original contract was still being paid? For the Leafs, it might be a way to make amends for mistakes that were made on both sides, and to recoup some of that lost investment. For Tucker, it would be an honourable and honest way to make a living, a proud homecoming, and a chance to reconnect and relive the glory of his best years. For fans, a chance to heal and forgive, and then to forget the Muskoka Five and the Maurice regime, and remember instead the desire and passion of the Quinn era that elevated them.

If we had a spot on the team two seasons ago for Brad May and last year for Wayne Primeau, we should be able to find room for Darcy. Of course, don't just give the spot away, make him earn it, and if players like Caputi, Armstrong, and Hanson put Darcy in the press box, we'll be better for it. It occurs to me that Darcy would be an excellent motivator to have sitting in the press box for the young players, knowing he'd be ready to jump into any situation if a player is not working hard enough.

Just play around with the idea in your mind for a bit before you reject it. One of the great things about Tucker at this age is that he's versatile. He's matured and can be a mentor for young stars who'll need to know how to handle the pressure of a city like Toronto. He's tough and feisty, and if used sparingly, can be inserted when the Leafs are looking for that little extra edge. He can teach the young players about honour and bravery, backing up your teammates, and wearing your heart on your sleeve. He also knows his way around the side of the goal and could be useful as a secondary plug on a struggling powerplay.

Think of the line combinations you could see with Tucker as a utility player - patrolling Kadri's wing and driving the net with Versteeg on the right side, delivering a double-dose of crazy and hurricane-like forechecking with Grabovski and Kulemin, or just running over opponents with Hanson and Orr. I guess I'm ignoring the fact that what the Leafs really need is a left-winger and Darcy traditionally plays right, but it's not gonna happen anyways so I might as well imagine that he's equally good on both sides.

We did it for Cujo. We did it for Wendel, twice. We did it for Dougie, though it turned out to be for just one game. I'd do it for Darcy. I'd bring'im back, not just for one last hurrah or for old times sake, but to make a difference, to be that extra-man who gives us the edge, the guy who'll light a fire in the dressing room or bring the crowd to it's feet at just the right moment. Maybe I'm romanticizing the impact Tucker could have on the Leafs, but I don't doubt there'd be an enormous reaction the first time he stepped on the ice again in a Leafs uniform, and again for the first opponent he knocked down, his first goal, his first fight.

Just take a look at this:

Or skip that and just watch this:

"Man, you think about what's goin' on there, that is... that's scrambled eggs right there, Bill."

319 points in 531 games as a Maple Leaf to go along with 756 penalty minutes. Sure, the glory days are long behind him at age 35, but there's got to be something still left in the tank, and no doubt, a flicker of the same intense desire for battle that never truly dies. Tucker is 53 NHL games away from 1,000 and 24 points away from 500.

I know - terrible idea, never gonna happen. Still, it was fun to think about, and anyways, the last time I said Tucker should play for someone, that team ended up winning the Stanley Cup.

Oh well, if not Darcy Tucker, what about Owen Nolan? Oh wait... Doesn't he play right-wing as well? Say, what's Dave Andreychuk doing these days, anybody know?

Writing's On The Wall

"When you believe in things that you don't understand,
then you suffer..."

I believe in the Leafs. I don't understand why, especially when they're this bad. And then, yes, I suffer, especially when they're this bad. But it doesn't stop me from believing that my believing and suffering will somehow help. Of course, it doesn't actually help, but I still act like it does. I guess you could say I'm a little bit - superstitious.

Can you make out this image? It's kinda grainy, dark, and fuzzy, and it sorta reminds me of photos of the Loch Ness Monster, or Bigfoot, or flying saucers. It's kinda fitting that it should be such poor quality because it represents the (sketchy at) best evidence that I've been able to acquire that proves that the Leafs are indeed CURSED.
Is this any better? Not really, now it's just a bigger blur. This image was taken from a still-frame of an obscure video on youtube, laser printed onto hard-copy white paper, digitally photographed using sub-standard Fido technology, then e-mailed across cyberspace, downloaded to a secure hard-drive and then uploaded to this blog page. You might question the wisdom of these methods, but please consider that many Bothans died to bring us this information, so a little respect, okay. We're dealing with the Paranormal here.

This will give you the best look of all at what I'm talkin' about. Pause the video at the 24 second mark and then again at the 25 second mark. Go ahead, I'll wait... What you're looking at is the NY Rangers third goal on Saturday, putting them ahead 3-0, effectively taking the Leafs out of the game. This is the goal that bothers me more then any other this season because for the life of me, I cannot figure out how this one goes in the net.

The two Leaf players in front of the Rangers' shooter are Beauchemin and Stempniak. They're doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing - lining up to block the shot. Their positioning is excellent. In fact, from my point of view, it's perfect. They've played it beautifully. And then... THE PUCK GOES THROUGH THE GOALTENDER'S LEGS!

I don't see how that's possible. I don't see a path along the ice to the net that would allow the puck to reach MacDonald without hitting Beachemin or Stempniak. There just isn't one. I've watched the video again and again - and again, and again. I even watched the referee to make sure he didn't throw a decoy puck into the back of the net. I just don't understand how it went in. And yet...

The goal was scored by Michael Del Zotto, an Ontario-born teenaged-rookie, playing his first game in Toronto, in front of 70 family members and friends. That's how it happened - that's EXACTLY how it happened!! There's your explanation. It was, as it always is, destiny.

Watch the video again - the puck actually loses material substance and form, right before your eyes, and DISAPPEARS, only to REAPPEAR on the other side of Beauchemin and Stempniak, directly below MacDonald's open legs and then into the back of the net. It didn't go through their sticks and skates - it wasn't even there! Spooky shit. Some goalies would like to have that one back, but you can't control fate and you can't fault a goaltender when there's nothing any mortal could possibly do. It works the same way for returning players in their first trip back to the ACC - did you see Tucker's goal against the Leafs last Tuesday? After he scores, he tilts his head back and looks up at the ACC ceiling with reverent appreciation. Tucker knows the score...

This is pretty serious, folks. I don't want to downplay this at all. The Leafs have an infinite amount of bad luck. It truly is a Curse. It's magical - Black Magic of the evilest kind - and it's more powerful then the... what? Watch another video? Seems highly unusual, but I suppose...

What the heck was that? Was that Ian White saving a goal? But the shooter was Colorado's Matt Duchene, another Ontario-born rookie playing his first game in Toronto, and that would have been his first NHL goal! And Ian White stopped it...!

Oh. My. God.

It's the 'stache! That freakin' mustache has the power to defy destiny! White didn't even have a grip on an NHL career until that 'stache came along. What wonders! It's a miracle. A MIRACLE, I tell you. Hey, wait a minute - what happens immediately after the Del Zotto goal? Oh... my... Less then 30 seconds later, Ian White scores a goal, the only Leaf goal of the game. Well, I don't need any further proof. I know the answer. I believe in the Mustachulence!

Good Golly! That hockey puck threw itself at Ian White's face after he scored that goal! Behold, the power of The Curse, and yet, behold, the power of the 'stache is greater! White went down but he got back up. The Curse went for a knock-out blow against its greatest challenger but the 'stache wouldn't stay down.

Again, I don't want to understate the importance of these cosmic events. This is an epic battle being waged to regain spiritual control of Leaf Nation's karma and fortune. I suggest that EVERYONE should start growing a mustache today - even the women and children. If you can't grow at least a half-decent mustache by Saturday night, then wear a fake one. We need everybody on the same page and pulling together in the same direction. Together, we can break this awful Curse - with mustaches!

Defeat The Curse.Grow Your 'Stache.

How To Get To Tomorrow Before Today Becomes Yesterday

Is it already too late to save the season?

JoeyMac had something interesting to say last night:

"We had a lot of young guys last year just coming into the league, trying to prove themselves every single night," MacDonald said before the game. "So they were working hard. Here, I think we're working, but we're working at times, and not a full 60 minutes."

If I'm reading this right, MacDonald is suggesting that last year's Islanders worked harder then this year's version of the Leafs. The difference, according to the third-string journeyman goaltender, is youth. The young guys. Players that want to "prove themselves, every single night."

One wonders how much Jason Blake feels he has left to prove to anyone. He proved it all 3 years ago when he scored 40 goals. He proved it again last year when he bounced back and had a terrific season. He's at the end of an 11-year career. He knows what he's done and what he can do, 'cause he did it. Four million dollars, please. What's there left to prove?

Dominic Moore was an excellent pick-up who spent the entire season last year trying to prove his worth. He didn't get the big paycheque that he was looking for but he did try to earn it. He set his sights high, above the expectations of others, and he worked hard to prove them wrong. Moore possessed a defiant, competitive desire to succeed that made him, Jason Blake, and the whole Leafs' team, better.

But Blake's not the only Forward whose energy and competitive fire is missing its spark. Mayers, Mitchell, Stajan, and Hagman all seem less interested in (or incapable of) establishing their roles on the team, nevermind dominance on the ice.

(I'm hesitant to include Stempniak in this group. I think he does have something to prove and is playing that way. Success is yet to come, but the effort is there. It could be that he's just not that good, but he is trying to show that he belongs.)

Darcy Tucker, bless his bat-shit crazy soul, is off to a great start this seaon and looks re-energized and ready to compete again. Tucker helped the Avalanche defeat the Leafs last night with a goal and an assist, moving his team to the top of the Western Conference standings. In 6 games, Tucker has 5 points (3G, 2A), 11 penalty minutes, and 12 shots on goal. So why does Tucker look younger, and not older, then he did the last 2 seasons?

"I’ve got two guys (Matt Duchene and Ryan O’Reilly, both 18) who sit beside me on the road all the time and in the dressing room. They have a lot of questions and things I have to answer. That’s helped me out. They play with some good spunk and it’s actually elevated my game a little bit.”

Stalberg has already shown us that he belongs on the team. In fact, he sometimes looks like the Leafs' best player. Now he wants to see how he measures up to the rest of the NHL. You can feel it every time he touches the puck, he's trying to make something happen, testing himself against his opponents, and trying to be better then they are.

Bozak also looks like he's ready to show us what he can do. Hanson and Tlusty, maybe even Gunnarson, and how about one last shot for Frogren? We need to get as many of these fresh faces into the line-up as possible. We need to replace the fear of growing old with optimism and dreams.

The future is now. Every game and every shift should be a demonstration of who wants to be on the ice for the next game, the next shift.

Thanks to MacDonald for his honest appraisal, and best of luck to a rejuvenated Darcy Tucker.

*UPDATE * 10/16 11:00am

Darcy Tucker continues to praise the injection of youth into the lineup. From the Gazette:

“Our young guys not only bring a really good skill level, but an energy about them. We have to pull them off the ice half the time. It’s infectious.”

From Post To Post And Pole to Poll: Horse Racing And Hockey

The Toronto Maple Leafs and Horse Racing. Seems to be an odd recurring theme as I sift through Google Images. Not much goin' on these days, so for entertainment I've decided to compile all the pictures I could find of Leafs at the racetrack and put them all together, in case there was somebody, anybody, who found this amusing or interesting. It's not, really, but Burke is gone fishin', so we might as well go sightseeing at the track. 

Here's a great picture of popular former Leaf and Dream Team member, Alyn McCauley. You'll notice in the next 2 photos Brian Burke and Darcy Tucker holding the same trophy, but for some reason, Alyn is only allowed to meekly place his left hand on top of the trophy while someone holds it for him. What gives? Alyn seemed like a really cool guy and I'm really jealous of PPP for his run in with him in Montreal. I'll never forget the way he came through for us against Ottawa.

You never really realize how small jockeys are until you see them standing beside hockey players. Here's a picture of Super-Psycho Shane Corson along with his chaperon for the day, Darcy Tucker. Anytime you can make the guy they call "bat-shit crazy" appear to be the normal one, it's a warning sign that you have serious problems.
Here's Brain Burke as the drawmaster at Mohawk Raceway earlier this summer, taking charge of the proceedings by lifting the trophy right out of the official's hands, and then letting people know straight up which horses they should be putting their money on. There's only one way to do things when Brian is around, and that's his way.
Just like Brian Burke, Ron Wilson's first official duty in Toronto was to be a drawmaster for a horse race. Still visible in this photo is the look of obvious culture shock that anyone wears when traveling from California to Ontario. The trophy beside Wilson is the nicest one in all of these pictures.
Who can forget the time that Tie Domi stabbed a guy in the neck with 2 horseshoes just to make a room full of people laugh? Also amusing is the fact that the trophy and Domi's head are exactly the same size.
Then there was the year that Curtis Joseph actually won the Queen's Plate. A surprise disqualification minutes before the start saw the always competitive Cujo enter the race as an incredible 375 to 1 longshot. Joseph then stunned the competition and the crowd, winning the Queen's Plate by a length and a half, all the while carrying 120-pound jockey Oleg Borschevsky (Nikolai's lesser known younger half-brother) around the track on his back. A somewhat embarrassed Joseph was rewarded for his "un-bee-lee-ba-ba" performance with the smallest trophy they could find and then they hung a wreath of flowers around his neck.

Here's an extremely rare photo of Mr. Fletcher accompanied by the elite group of assistants he employs, known only as Cliff's Angels. These 3 fabulous stereotypes are Cliff's ultra-secret team of highly trained international agents, using the latest skills in martial arts, weaponry, and seduction to track down the most dangerous and sought-after prospects from around the globe and then bring them to Toronto. Originally assigned as high-level liaison operatives for Central European Scouting 2 years ago, their latest mission to Farjestads, Sweden has been a notable success.

Well, that's it. I didn't do any research for this at all. Maybe I should have, but actually, this post was just an excuse to tell people that I have a new poll at the bottom of the page to keep us excited through the summer. Who is your favorite "new" Leaf that Burke has added to the team so far? Beauchemin, Exelby, Gustavsson, Hanson, Kadri, Komisarek, Orr, Stuart, or Wallin? The poll will be open until September 1st.

Until then, see you at the track, everybody.

The Dream Team (Part 1): The Forward Lines

Hello, and welcome to a special edition of just your usual general borschevsky! Today we take a look at some of my favorite Leaf players from my generation, and introduce the modern Maple Leafs Dream Team. First up, the forwards, and a look at possible line combinations (if all these players were in their prime and on the team at the same time).














Dave Andreychuk-Doug Gilmour-Wendel Clark. This is not a fantasy-line. This was reality. The default line for the Leafs on Sega '95, there was maybe never a more dangerous combination of players in the Blue and White. If we're in the third period, and down by a goal, you can bet these 3 will be on the ice.

Alexander Mogilny-Mats Sundin-Nikolai Borschevsky. Mogilny is considered by some to have been Sundin's best linemate, and the only player with enough skill and intelligence to equal the captain's. Now add a healthy, youthful Borschevsky to this combo and you have a very cunning 2nd line and powerplay unit. With speed, creativity, and poise, the opposing D will be turned inside out as this line scores one highlight reel goal after the other.














Rick Vaive-Darryl Sittler-Darcy Tucker. This is my blue-collar line. These guys know hustle, know how to dig deep, and they aren't going to get run over by anybody. Sittler quarterbacks this line with his cool presence and ability to control the play. Tucker will grind the puck out of the corners and bang the front of the net, while Vaive is the trigger happy man in the slot, ready to snap home anything that comes his way.

Bill Berg-Alyn McCauley-Gary Roberts. The checking line. Who can forget the way Alyn McCauley raised his game in the 2002 playoffs? With Sundin injured, McCauley and Roberts led the Leafs to the Final Four in heroic fashion over the Sens in the second round. That performance raised McCauley's trade value immensely, and as a result, the Leafs were able to land Owen Nolan in the summer. Added to this tenacious pair is Bill Berg. His name was synonymous with "pest". Indeed, after Esa Tikkanen, Berg may be the league's second biggest "Super-Pest". He made a career out of irritating and frustrating the likes of Brutt Hull, Jeremy Roenick, and Mario Lemiuex, and he did it without the childish antics and trash talking that Avery is known for. Berg frustrated the opposition with subtlety and always had a "who me?" look on his face. These 3 players on their own could send the entire Ottawa Valley to anger-management classes for 12 weeks every summer.

Hope you all enjoyed and thanks for looking. Leave me a comment if there's a Leaf you think deserves mentioning. As long as nothing major happens this weekend (Sundin signs!), my next post will be The Dream Team (Part 2): Defencemen and Goalies. Cheers!

Eye Of The Tucker

This post can't begin without a tribute to a fellow named Chemmy and his work over at Pension Plan Puppets, and especially, the Darcy Tucker Fan Club. With great respect we would like to voice our support for the decision to keep the name, and our regrets that one of the most passionate and feisty show-stoppers in the game is no longer a MapleLeaf.

Feisty:–adjective, feist·i·er, feist·i·est.
1. full of animation, energy, or courage; spirited; spunky; plucky: The champion is faced with a feisty challenger.
2. ill-tempered; pugnacious.
3. troublesome; difficult

I've been thinking about the future of Darcy Tucker, and I've made a few comments about who I'd like to see him playing with. I then knew my next post would be about Darcy when I saw this NHL transaction:

Tampa Bay: Acquired the rights to LW Gary Roberts and LW Ryan Malone from Pittsburgh for a conditional 2009 draft pick.

My first thought: "does this mean Sir Gary won't be coming to Toronto?"

My second thought: "does this open the door for Darcy to come to Pittsburgh?"

The answer to the first question we'll leave to the Leaf blogophere. The answer to the second question, I sincerely hope, is yes. The only team I want to see Darcy playing for this year is the Penguins. I'm not a Pittsburgh fan, far from it. I'm a MapleLeafs fan and then I'm a hockey fan. But being a Leafs fan means I still cheer for the former Leafs who were among the best to wear and represent the blue and white. I'm still a Gary Roberts fan. I still like Cujo. I cheered for Hal Gill. And I'll always be a fan of Darcy Tucker. I'd like to see his courage and spirit recognized, and I hope he wins a Cup.

I really want the Penguins to see this. It fits so well. By adding Tucker, they essentially replace both Malone and Roberts at the same time. They get a younger, faster, sharper version of Roberts, who can still play Malone's ice-time. Tucker brings the same kind of experience and veteran leadership as Gary and also Malone's intensity, hustle and sacrifice.

For those that think Tucker is "worn out", I say, no way not even close. This was just an off year. There was no heart in the dressing room, no enthusiasm for winning, and nothing, therefore, to play for. Give Tucker a true shot at glory and honour and watch him go. That's his fuel. He's still a top-six forward on any team, and can still be a powerplay sniper. He knows how to finish, and I believe, come playoff time, he can still bang and crash and deliver.

Crosby and Malkin can't both play with George Laraque. Tucker would make a great middleweight body guard for either, though it's Evgeni that I can really see him clicking with. Could've been the spark on the forecheck Malkin needed in the Finals. But I also see Tucker paired up with another Penguin player for an explosive combination: Maxime Talbot.

I never really appreciated Maxime Talbot before this year's playoffs, but I admit, I've become a fan of his work. First of all, it doesn't hurt to have a great playoff beard. Second, he scored a huge goal in the Finals to send Game 5 into overtime. But I was already a fan before that, because I liked his overall style. I liked his energy, the way he seemed to always be encouraging his teammates on the bench, backing them up on the ice, and the way he'd zoom into the offensive zone, like he was Mark Bell looking for Daniel Alfredsson. He bangs, he scraps, he finishes, he antagonizes, and he leads. Basically, he plays like Darcy Tucker. And I think the two of them on the same line would be dyn-O-mite with a capital O.

Finally, I'd like to go on record, and risk credibility, by saying that if the Penguins do acquire Tucker, then they go back to the Finals, except this time, they win it all. I also think that Darcy Tucker hoisting the Cup would be a genuinely compelling moment, full of raw emotion and drama.

So, good luck, #16.

Wishing you the best. Passion. Glory. Honour. We don't forget.

Ron Wilson And Me

Here's a fun thing to do: Take quotes from someone else's coverage of a press conference, and use them out of context to create a dialogue between 2 people. In this case, let's use Paul Hunter's piece, which was really well done, great job and all that, and the two people in conversation will be new Leaf head coach Ron Wilson, and me.

Welcome Ron, and thank you for inviting me out for coffee with you. I must admit, when I saw you in the washroom at Pearson I was surprised that you approached me. Tell me, why did you want to do this imaginary interview with an ordinary sportsblogger after the press conference?

"You can get fooled by what other people write about you. Did I actually say that? Did I really do that?"

I think you did, but I get your point too. Good irony. Kinda like Damien's piece today. I thought it was going to be about you, but instead it was about playing baseball backwards and Frank Thomas, and had nothing to do with reality. Kinda like this interview. Moving on... any words for Sundin? Anything you'd like to say directly to Mats before he makes his decision on returning?

"Making the playoffs is not our goal. Our goal is to win the Stanley Cup. Period."

Wow. I've been waiting for a leader on this team to say those exact words ever since Pat Quinn left.

"I don't have Pat Quinn's presence. He walks into a room and it's a parting of the Red Sea."

Wow. Like Moses. So which Biblical figure would you be?

"Not the Antichrist."

Whoah. Let's hope not. How 'bout we step away from religion for a second. I hear you like Saturday Night Live movies?

"I'd kill to meet Will Ferrell. I think he's the funniest guy on the planet. I should probably say Mike Myers now."

Weird. Funniest guy on the planet, eh? You obviously haven't read DownGoesBrown. And, um, the second guy you mentioned, who's that? Never heard of him. Seriously though, you did say something there that was interesting that I'd like to follow up on. If a meeting with Mr. Ferrell can be arranged, who would you kill?

(Long silence)

"Darcy Tucker for years was one of my favorite players, but... (another long silence) he's starting to wear down."

So, it'd be like a mercy thing. I get it. Speaking of movies, wanna go see a flick or something with me sometime? Would your wife mind?

"Hopefully I'll be able to go to a movie, maybe in a disguise... but I don't want you to think I'll be the guy in the back row in a raincoat with a box of popcorn."

No, I know that guy. He sends e-mails to Howard Berger. Changing the subject.. do you know anything about a curse or a hex on the Leafs?

"I left Fort Erie in 1967 right after the Leafs won the Stanley Cup, so it might be my fault."

Okay, but did you know that in 1968 CBC also started playing that song that everybody hates now? So, there's 2 reasons to hope. Finally, Ron, is there a message you'd like to send to the team and it's fans, something you might write on a blackboard, or put on a banner to hang in the dressing room? What will be the character of this team with you behind the bench?

"The only thing I guarantee is this team will not accept defeat. If they go down, they'll go down swinging."

Awesome. Ron, you get a gold star beside your name. Keep it up. Try to get a whole row. Thank you for your honesty and thank you for coming to Toronto.

The Playoffs Remembered

Well, the Stanley Cup Finals are almost here, and I thought that with my very first post I ought to do something of a tribute to playoffs of the past. Being a Leaf fan, there hasn't been much to get excited about lately, so let's take a stroll down memory lane, back to a time when the Leafs were a playoff team, and people in Toronto actually wore their Leaf jerseys in public. So, with a wink and a nod to DownGoesBrown and PensionPlanPuppets for their daily inspiration, here goes nothing...

GAME ONE

I have some really good memories from Game One. The first, and most obvious, is 1993; Dougie's wraparound on Cujo in double overtime, round 2, against St. Louis. Another is Peter Zezel's OT goal against the Canucks, round 3, the next year. Always liked the Big Zee, even if he kicked the puck more then he played it with his stick. Leafs were up 1-0 and I thought they were headed to the Finals. They lost the next four games.

Let's see... I also remember the Eagle letting in a 60-foot slapper from God! Was that also '94?

Fast forward a few years: 2001 Leafs and Sens, first round, Game 1, in Ottawa. I had the seriously horrific misfortune of having to live in Ottawa for a couple years. I actually tried to like Ottawa, but Ottawa didn't like me. I'd meet people and they'd say, "oh you're from Toronto? Toronto sucks, loser!"

I bought a Sens hat to fit in. I began to feel bitter, frustrated. Simple-minded. I started to think of people who could speak eloquently as "arrogant". When the Sens made the playoffs, I bought tickets. They were easy to get! As it turned out, they had to play the Leafs. So, I took off my Sens hat, put on my Borschevsky jersey and rediscovered a much more satisfying way of looking at the world: Love your team. Don't spend all your energy hating the other guys. Just be true to your own team. To Love is to Honour.

Anyway, Sundin's OT goal was a beauty to make it 1-0. It was awesome to be there, to be one of the Leaf supporters ragin' it, while the Sens fans sat there, silent and embarrassed. So bitter. So frustrated. And so began The Catastrophe, as they called it, that would become a 4-game sweep.

I guess as far as Game One memories go, that's the best one. Don't really remember Mogilny's "first career playoff hatrick" in 2003. It's been a while since...

(trails off sadly without an ending)

GAME TWO

Something about Game Two that's much less memorable then Game One. Here's a list of games I should be able to remember: 1994, round 1, Todd Gill scores in OT. Leafs take 2-0 lead over Chicago. 2001, first round, 3-0 shutout of the Senators. Leafs up, 2-0. 2002, Sens again, secound round this time, Sir Gary Roberts scores in triple overtime. Leafs win, 3-2, tie the series, 1-1. 2004, and yup, it's Ottawa getting shutout, 2-0. Leafs even the series, 1-1. (In 24 playoff games from 2000 to 2004, the Leafs blanked the Senators 7 times! Just sayin', is all...)

Predictably, the most distinct memories of Game Two are from '93. Round 1, Game Two is exactly like Game One. Red Wings hammer the Leafs. Watching the game is like enduring 3 hours of rockets going off in a hot tub. 2nd round, Game Two is exactly like Game One, double overtime against the Blues, except this time Dougie doesn't do the backwards-wraparound-spin-o-rama-thing. Not sure why.
3rd round, Game Two. L.A. Kings. I actually got to go to this game. Here's where the story begins: My buddy and I were both heavy smokers. Maple Leaf Gardens had just introduced a smoking ban in the entire building. With the game tied in the 3rd period, my buddy says he can't take the tension, he's gonna go sneak a smoke in the stairwell (which they were letting people do, no problem). I said to him "hey man, remember when we were ten and we'd go to games and you'd go to the bathroom and there'd be these creepy guys just hangin' out against the wall smokin' cigarettes? You don't want to be that creepy guy to some ten year old now, do ya?" He agreed. A few minutes later he changed his mind. "I swear, if you leave," I said, "the Kings are gonna score." He stayed. A few minutes later, he left. While he was gone puffin', Tomas Sandstrom scored. I was so mad. The Kings won. They won the series. It's all my friend's fault. There shouldn't even have been a Game Six! On his behalf, to everyone, I apologize for my friend's indercression and poor judgement. He has since given up smoking. Bizzarly, I'm still trying to quit.

Can't smoke at the ACC either, but I haven't been to a game since...

(trails off sadly without an ending)

GAME THREE

Don't know what it is about Game Three that makes it less memorable then Game Two. Maybe it's because, where the Leafs are concerned, Game Three has generally not been a pleasant experience. The trend is reversing; the last 3 Game Threes they've won, but from 1989 to the present, in 22 playoff rounds, the Leafs are 6-16 in Game Three. That's a winning percentage of .272 (which includes 3 wins in a row). That spells Y-I-K-E-S-! It's interesting that Game Three doesn't seem as "pivotal" as it should be. After 16 losses in Game Three, the Leafs still prevailed in the series 7 times, losing 9. (Winning Game Three gets ya 4 and 2)

Of the victories that I can recall, only 2 stand out. In 2001, Cory Cross (ahem... birds chirping) gives the Leafs a 3-0 series lead over the Sens with his overtime goal (See Game One - The Catastrophe). 2 years later, Tomas Kaberle scores the last Leaf playoff overtime goal, possibly ever. It was a double overtime thriller against the Flyers to give the Leafs a 2-1 series lead (which they would eventually lose), but ignore that, the point is: 5 years and counting since a leaf scored a goal in overtime in the playoffs. (I know, how do you score a goal in overtime in the playoffs when you're not in the playoffs? Ya, well, how does anyone ever accomplish anything without Sir Gary Roberts is what I'd like to know!)

** Correction ** The last overtime goal scored by a Leaf player in the playoffs was Travis Green in Game Six of this same series. Took me over a year to realize this mistake. Don't know why I'd be blocking out my memory of Travis Green's heroics... Maybe it's 'cause he's one the few Leafs I've ever hated.

The list of Leaf dissapointments in Game Three is long and profane:

In 1990, St. Louis wins, 6-5 on Sergio Momesso's overtime heartbreaker. Blues take a 3-0 stranglehold on the series, eventually winning 4-1.

In 1994, a 5-2 loss to the appalling San Jose Sharks. The same year, a 4-0 pummeling by Vancouver in the Conference Finals.

In 2001, Rafalski scores to give the Devils its second of back-to-back oveertime wins. Devils lead the series, 2-1.

2002. A 6-1 loss to the Islanders. Fuck (told ya there'd be profanity). The same year, in the Conference Finals, future-former-Leaf Jeff O'Neil scores as Carolina wins the second of back-to-back overtime victories. Fuck, again.

The very worst, or most painful, and therfore most memorable Game Three belongs to 1996. Against the Blues, St. Louis takes a 2-1 series lead on "creepy" Glenn Anderson's OT goal. It was a moment that turned the series as much as the stomach. The Leafs, coached by Mike Foligno and some guy (Nick Beverly), were soon beaten 4 games to 2 by a Blues team, coached by "even creepier" Mike Keenan, and featuring Wayne "the Greatest Villain of All-Time" Gretzky. It was the climax of an epic tragedy. Everything that could go wrong, did. Losing the series so demoralized Leaf fans and Leaf players alike, that neither went to a playoff game for another 2 years.

Eventually the Leafs would get Pat Quinn, playoff games would be won, and overtime goals would be scored again. Sir Gary Roberts and Cujo would come and go. Tucker and McCabe would come and then wouldn't go. Kaberle would score in a Game Three in double overtime. And, best of all, the Leafs would beat the Senators 4 times in 5 years (wiping away a tear), though it seems like it's been a while since...

(trails off sadly without ending)

GAME FOUR

Not sure why, but Game Four seems to be the least memorable of all playoff games in a series. Seems counter intuitive. For me, unless it's already 3-0, Game Four IS the series. It's a whole lot better to be tied 2-2 then down 3-1. Even better is being up 3-1. It's only one game out of seven, but Game Four is the one that seems to get you half way there.

So you'd think that Game Four would be more dramatic, more memorable. Here's a list of the most significant Game Four's from the last 20 years:

In no paticular order. No, actually, in chronological order.

1994. Opening round against Chicago. Jeremy Roenick scores in OT to tie the series at 2-2. A very memorable goal, partly because I hated Roenick so much at the time, but mostly I remember it for Felix Potvin's effort in trying to prevent it. It was a sure goal, a wide open net, J.R. in the slot, with Felix backpeddling from one side of the net to the other, and he almost had it! Point is: he tried (I'm lookin' at you, Raycroft). He was a heck of a competitor and he had a real cool nickname. I miss the Cat. Leafs won both of the next 2 games, 1-0 each, and won the series in 6.

1999. Sergei Berezin scores the biggest goal of his dynamically-challenged career. In overtime, on the road in Pittsburg, Berezin's goal evened the series. Leafs grabbed the momentum, won the next two games, and advanced to the Final Four. Berezin, meanwhile, will forever be associated in my mind with these two words: "one", and "dimensional". Sorry Sergei.

2001. Leafs sweep the Sens in the opening round. For Leaf fans, a surprisingly small step forward. For Ottawa, it is The Catastrophe. The worst case scenario, realized. Maybe the darkest day in the Sens dark, dark, gloomy history. Which makes it a very bright and special day, worth remembering and celebrating, in what is also a fairly sad and gloomy Leafs' history.

Also 2001. Fresh off the sweep, Leafs are down 2 games to 1 thanks to back-to-back overtime wins by the Devils, when Tie Domi has the game of his life, and then does one of the stupidest things of his life (probably). He really had played a terrific game, and was a key contributor in the Leafs' 3-1 lead, when late in the game, with Scott Stevens in the penalty box, Domi, bless his little heart, for no apparent reason, cracks Niedemeyer with a passing elbow and knocks him out. Niedemeyer had to be carried off the ice on a stretcher, and meanwhile, anyone who saw it will remember it, Stevens went bezerk, bananas, and bonkers simultaneously in the penalty box. He looked like he was going to tear the whole ACC apart trying to get out of there, even though the door has a handle. It's not magnetically sealed. Anyways, just before it happened I was thinking what a great game Domi had played. He had a goal, he was hitting everywhere, the crowd was chanting his name, and then he went and ruined it. That's the saddest part. It already was a memorable Game Four for Domi. Then, one stupid pointless elbow later, it changed, and the series changed. Leafs still won the next game to take a 3-2 series lead, but you had a feeling Stevens and the Devils weren't just going to give up. They didn't. They won Game 6 and 7 and they won the series. They showed more guts and more heart and more character, and of course they did, 'cause none of the Devils was named Tie Domi.

2003. Mark Recchi for Philadelphia scores in triple overtime to tie the series at 2-2. A heartbreaker. Had it gone the other way, Leafs would've been up 3-1. Instead, the Flyers won on home ice, Games 5 and 7, and took the series. Leafs are out in the first round.

2004. Second round against the Flyers. A 3-1 victory at home to tie the series. The last playoff game the Leafs have won. 2004. The last playoff game the Leafs have won. 2004. The last victory the Leafs had in the playoffs was 2004. They haven't won a playoff game since 2004. Don't remember this game so well, sweet Lord, it seems like it's been so long since...

(trails off sadly without an ending)

GAME FIVE

Now we're getting somewhere. Seems like each game in the series gets more meaningful from here. Game Five is more memorable then Game Four. Game Six is more memorable then Game Five, and so on. (It's a bell-curve of memorability!) So, here's a list of memorable Game Five's, this time in reverse chronological order.

We'll skip over Philly beating us 7-2, in 2004, and jump back to 2002. Second round, Leafs and Sens. Series tied at 2-2 in Toronto. Late in the game, Alfredsson, with his own impression of "the Greatest Screw Job Ever in the History of Sports" (see Game Six), does a wicked Pearl Harbour on Darcy Tucker, blatant but unpenalized, and then scores immediately after. The remainder of the game is a disgrace, with very little hockey being played beneath the falling debris and endless booing. The reasons why this does not qualify as "the Greatest Screw Job Ever in the History of Sports" are: 1) it was only Game Five, not Game Six, 2) it wasn't in overtime, 3) Tucker's good but he's not Dougie, and 4) no player whose entire career was in a Senators uniform will ever be associated with the word "greatest".

The year 2000. In the first round against the Sens, with the series tied 2-2, former Leaf Steve Thomas becomes a Leaf again and scores in overtime. In retrospect, a milestone goal. Leafs would win the next game and the series and then go on to eliminate the Senators 3 more times.

In 1999, Game Five of the first round against Philadelphia, Yanic Perrault scores in overtime to give the Leafs a 3-2 series lead. They won the next game and the series and then marched through Pittsburg to the Final Four. It's funny to think that this huge goal for Yanic, plus Stumpy's the next year, led JFJ's brain to go "click" and swap a 2nd-rounder to bring Perrault back in a deadline deal bust. The long thread of irony weaves a tapestry showing a hunter shooting a duck, and the gun goes "quack".

1996. First round against St. Louis, down 3 games to 1. Mike "before-Sundin-was-Mr. Clutch-I-was-Mr. Clutch" Gartner, prolongs the inevitable series loss, with his second playoff overtime goal as a Leaf. A skill player without finesse, and a physical player without toughness, Gartner somehow always scored exactly 30 goals for 30 seasons in a row. He made a career out of getting high-sticked under his visor, and was often described by opponents as "a nice guy". His 2 playoff overtime goals equal Mats Sundin's total as a Leaf, and represent twice the total playoff overtime goals scored by Kaberle, Tucker, McCabe, Kubina, Wellwood, Stajan, Steen, Antrobot, Ponybot, or any other Leaf on the current roster, combined. Twice. Combined. 2.

1994. Conference Finals. In Vancouver. 14 seconds into double overtime Greg Adams beats Felix the Cat. Vancouver wins the series. Seemed like it was over before it began. In retrospect, that Vancouver team was one of the very best ever not to win a Cup. Maybe also the 1993 Leafs, but not the '94 Leafs. They barely beat San Jose. This game is also notable for being Wendel Clark's last game as captain of the Maple Leafs.

1993. Conference Finals vs. the Kings, series tied, 2-2. "Creepy" Glenn Anderson whacks a puck out of the air with 40 seconds left in the OT period to give the Leafs a 3-2 series lead. One win away from the Stanley Cup Finals, the closest the Leafs had been since '67, and the closest they've ever been since.

That same year, in the opening round, the Leafs played a pivotal Game Five in Detroit. The home team's had won the first four games but there still seemed to be a sense, even though the series was tied, that the Leafs were overmatched. A gutsy, gritty effort produced overtime though, and then Leapin' Mike Foligno did the Leap that took my breath away. All of a sudden, a Leaf Nation believed. For Foligno was one of us. He seemed to know how we felt, and he expressed it on the ice. And he had a really cool helmet. Because of Foligno's goal, the impossible suddenly became possible. We beat Detroit in 7, we beat the Blues in 7, and then, if not for "the Greatest Screw Job Ever in the History of Sports" ....

(stops abruptly, knowing what comes next, but not wanting to go on)

GAME SIX

Okay, let's get on with it. In reverse chronological order:

2004. Second Round. Jeremy Roenick scores his second career playoff OT goal against the Leafs, immediatly after a monster Tucker hit on Kappanen. This time it's a series-clincher, as the Flyers take the series 4-2, advancing to the Final Four. In 2008 the Flyers head back to the Conference Finals, meanwhile, the Leafs have not played a playoff game since.

The same year in the previous round, Mike Fisher scores for Ottawa in double overtime to extend the series to 7. As far as I know, this is the only game the Senators ever won with "their backs up against the wall".

2002. Martin Gelinas kills another Final Four appearance with his series-clinching overtime goal, spoiling Sundin's last minute heroics that tied the game.

That same year, second round against the Senators. One of the best games ever. "Guts and Glory" read the Sun front page the next day, and for once it was accurate. Tie Domi, in a rare example of using his head, smashes it with unrestrained abandon into the boards, busting up his face like a pro wrestler, and drawing a 5-minute penalty, which swung the game, and ultimately, the series. Awesome job, Tie.

1999. second round against Pittsburg. The man who scores the series-clinching goal in overtime to put the Leafs into the Final Four is... Gary Valk? By sheer coincidence, the least memorable player to ever score a playoff goal in overtime for the Leafs is... Gary Valk! (sorry Cory Cross, second prize)

1995 vs. Chicago. The bronze medalist in our "least memorable Leaf to score a playoff overtime goal sweepstakes", Randy Wood, ties the series at 3-3. Chicago still wins in 7, and the Leafs are left to answer questions like, why is Randy Wood the go-to guy with the series on the line?

1994. Sharks leading 3 games to 2. Igor Larionov hits a crossbar and Bob Cole says "scores!' For about 2 seconds in my mind the game stopped. The series was over. And then the series continued and they kept playing, and soon after Mike "Mr. Clutch" Gartner stumbles under a high stick, over Arturs Irbe, and bounces a puck into the net to set up Game Seven.

(start playing "The Imperial March" now)

GAME SIX: Special Feature "The Greatest Screw Job Ever in the History of Sports"

1993, the Final Four. In L.A.. Leafs leading the series, 3 games to 2. The best game God ever played. His hat-trick was a thing of beauty, of magnificence. Breathtaking, heart-pounding, mind-altering, magnificence. Especially the third goal. Divine. If not for Kerry Fraser and Wayne "the Greatest Villain of All Time", and their diabolical scheme, "the Greatest Screw Job Ever in the History of Sports", y'know Wendel probably would've scored a fourth. (Also implicated in this conspiracy are: Gary Bettman, excecutives at Fox and CBC, Pepsi, Bruce McNall, Tony Robbins, and Jari Kurri. Considered suspicious by association are: Janet Gretzky, Rick Tocchet, and Patrick Roy.)

(stops typing and shakes his fist defiantly)

We all know what happened. Everyone saw. Early in overtime, Leafs were killing a penalty (thanks to "creepy" Glenn, also implicated!). As Dougie is just about to clear the puck out of the zone, down the ice, and kill off the penalty, he falls to the ice for no reason. Kerry Fraser blows his whistle for no reason. Blood gushes from Gilmour's chin, for no reason. Everyone looks at number 99, and he knows... the moment has come.

No arms are raised. No penalty box doors are opened. No discussions with the linesman over who saw what. "5-and-a-game" and "what about Dave Andreychuk" are meaningless whispers. The Great One contemplates his destiny... and then - !

With the blood of his opponent still wet on his stick, Gretzky ends the game, laughing wildly at the sheer treachery of it all. Dougie's blood was on that puck. Dougie's blood was in the back of the net. And the Great One laughed like a looney mad scientist about to blow up the earth. He was now "the Greatest Villain of All Time". It was "the Greatest Screw Job Ever in the Histiory of Sports".

(now that's an ending)

GAME SEVEN

Game Seven, of course, is the most memorable of all, and as it should be. Since 1989 the Leafs have been involved in 10 Game Sevens, winning 6. Here's a look back...

2004. Leafs beat Ottawa in the opening round, winning the final game 4-1 at home. It is the last playoff round the Leafs have won. On the plus side, their record against the Sens in the playoffs remains a perfect 4-0.

2003. Opening round loss to the Flyers. The seventh game is a 6-1 blowout in Philadelphia. I'd always wondered how Blues' fans felt after Game Seven in '93. Now I knew. Sorry kids, Christmas is cancelled.

2002. Second round. Sens again. Mogilny's magic leads the way as the Leafs play a perfect and flawless game seven at home, winning 3-0. The same year in the first round, Leafs have to go the distance against the NYIslanders in a series where the home team won every game. 2002 was a good year, and the team came close, but eventually ran out of gas against Paul Maurice and the Carolina Hurricanes. From this point on, the words "dissapointment" and "failure" become linked to Maurice's name. As in: "hiring Maurice was a huge dissapointment and a colossal failure".

2001. New Jersey ends Toronto's season in the second round, 5-1, after a hard fought series. I'm starting to notice a pattern: the home team wins Game Seven.

1995. The home team wins Game Seven again. Chicago beats the Leafs, 5-2. It was a sorry end to a lockout-shortened season, though these would be just the first few sorry steps leading up a mountain of shame before us ('96, '97, '98).

1994. The Leafs finally finish off San Jose, winning 4-2 at home. Perhaps the least satisfying Game Seven victory ever. Losing to the Sharks would have been unforgiveable, so winning had all the excitement of seeing a garage door close the way it's supposed to, without getting stuck.

1993. The visiting team steals a game. The heartbreaking epilogue to "the Greatest Screw Job Ever in the History of Sports". Leafs lose on home ice to the Kings, 5-4, the "Greatest Villain of All Time" with a dastardly hat-trick, knocking the game winner in off of Dave Ellett's ankle. The hopes and dreams of a Leaf Nation, tied to the train tracks with sinister delight by "the Great One", only to have them crushed by a piano. Hilarious.

The same year, in the previous round. One of the most satisfying Game Sevens ever. Leafs beat the Blues, in a home ice romp, 6-0. Led by God, who nearly decapitated Cujo with a slap shot, the Leafs celebrated early and often. A sincerley joyful hockey game, of which the most enduring image will always be Foligno and Gilmour, arms-wide, meeting near the boards, in celebration of Dougie's breakaway goal.

1993, 1st round vs. Red Wings. In Detroit. Here's what I remember: I was 17, she was 16. It was our two month anniversary. We were gonna do it for the first time. I bought flowers, chocolate, and made a nice dinner. We watched the Leaf game. I never really imagined they would win this series, but I cheered for them all the same. After Wendel and Dougie tied it in the third, I decided I couldn't take the tension, and didn't want the heartbreak of an overtime loss to spoil our "special moment". We turned off the TV and the lights, and put on Q107 to get us in the mood. We started getting hot and heavy, in that clumsy, awkward teenage way, which isn't really hot at all, when suddenly the song on the radio, mid-way through, was interupted by the Q107 announcer. It was a flurry of hollering and mad excitement, frantic ecstacy penetrating our most sacred, divine, and tender moment. "What was that?" she said. "I think the Leafs won in overtime", I replied. "I thought I heard him say Borschevsky". "No", she said, looking up at me, and then down below, "what was that?". "Oh", I said, "I think I got a little too excited. Sorry."

And that is why I will always remember Game Seven against Detroit, 1993, and why my Leaf jersey has number 16, Borschevsky, on the back.

(finishes triumphantly, satisfied the ending had a climax)