Tuesday, July 14, 2009

From Post To Post And Pole to Poll: Horse Racing And Hockey

The Toronto Maple Leafs and Horse Racing. Seems to be an odd recurring theme as I sift through Google Images. Not much goin' on these days, so for entertainment I've decided to compile all the pictures I could find of Leafs at the racetrack and put them all together, in case there was somebody, anybody, who found this amusing or interesting. It's not, really, but Burke is gone fishin', so we might as well go sightseeing at the track. 
Here's a great picture of popular former Leaf and Dream Team member, Alyn McCauley. You'll notice in the next 2 photos Brian Burke and Darcy Tucker holding the same trophy, but for some reason, Alyn is only allowed to meekly place his left hand on top of the trophy while someone holds it for him. What gives? Alyn seemed like a really cool guy and I'm really jealous of PPP for his run in with him in Montreal. I'll never forget the way he came through for us against Ottawa.
You never really realize how small jockeys are until you see them standing beside hockey players. Here's a picture of Super-Psycho Shane Corson along with his chaperon for the day, Darcy Tucker. Anytime you can make the guy they call "bat-shit crazy" appear to be the normal one, it's a warning sign that you have serious problems.
Here's Brain Burke as the drawmaster at Mohawk Raceway earlier this summer, taking charge of the proceedings by lifting the trophy right out of the official's hands, and then letting people know straight up which horses they should be putting their money on. There's only one way to do things when Brian is around, and that's his way.
Just like Brian Burke, Ron Wilson's first official duty in Toronto was to be a drawmaster for a horse race. Still visible in this photo is the look of obvious culture shock that anyone wears when traveling from California to Ontario. The trophy beside Wilson is the nicest one in all of these pictures.
Who can forget the time that Tie Domi stabbed a guy in the neck with 2 horseshoes just to make a room full of people laugh? Also amusing is the fact that the trophy and Domi's head are exactly the same size.
Then there was the year that Curtis Joseph actually won the Queen's Plate. A surprise disqualification minutes before the start saw the always competitive Cujo enter the race as an incredible 375 to 1 longshot. Joseph then stunned the competition and the crowd, winning the Queen's Plate by a length and a half, all the while carrying 120-pound jockey Oleg Borschevsky (Nikolai's lesser known younger half-brother) around the track on his back. A somewhat embarrassed Joseph was rewarded for his "un-bee-lee-ba-ba" performance with the smallest trophy they could find and then they hung a wreath of flowers around his neck.
Here's an extremely rare photo of Mr. Fletcher accompanied by the elite group of assistants he employs, known only as Cliff's Angels. These 3 fabulous stereotypes are Cliff's ultra-secret team of highly trained international agents, using the latest skills in martial arts, weaponry, and seduction to track down the most dangerous and sought-after prospects from around the globe and then bring them to Toronto. Originally assigned as high-level liaison operatives for Central European Scouting 2 years ago, their latest mission to Farjestads, Sweden has been a notable success.

Well, that's it. I didn't do any research for this at all. Maybe I should have, but actually, this post was just an excuse to tell people that I have a new poll at the bottom of the page to keep us excited through the summer. Who is your favorite "new" Leaf that Burke has added to the team so far? Beauchemin, Exelby, Gustavsson, Hanson, Kadri, Komisarek, Orr, Stuart, or Wallin? The poll will be open until September 1st.

Until then, see you at the track, everybody.

3 comments:

kidkawartha said...

"These 3 fabulous stereotypes are Cliff's ultra-secret team of highly trained international agents, using the latest skills in martial arts, weaponry, and seduction to track down the most dangerous and sought-after prospects from around the globe."
Now THAT's some tampering you can believe in.

Junior said...

I knew Cujo would win that race. They put a bug boy up on him. He's a mudder. His father was a mudder.

general borschevsky said...

Thanks kid-k! No tampering, just "flexable aquisition strategy speculation".

Hey, Junior! His father's a proud mudder, huh? Oh, brudder. Cheers!