Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Raycrap Reaction Recap Wrap-Up

First of all, I'd like to dedicate this entire post to eyebleaf, and his truly excellent blog, Sports And The City. If you can filter through all the basketball, baseball, football/soccer, football/Super Bowl, football/Pinball, and DEEP THOUGHTS, there's actually a lot of really good Leafs and hockey coverage. As far as I can tell Sports And The City has been up and running since October, 2006. In 2007, eyebleaf published a remarkable 77 posts on his site. Even more remarkable, he has already surpassed that total this year with his 78th and 79th posts this week. Forget "does he have the endurance?" -this is the Iron Man, folks. He doesn't just keep going, he gets faster. Bravo eyebleaf! We really appreciate your optimism and passion.

Whfew! Not that we got that obligation out of the way, we can get on with the body of this piece: Here's something from The Files Of He Must Be Freakin' Joking! A completely deadpan reports that Andrew Raycroft's agent, Jordon Nuemann, had this reaction to the Raycroft buy-out situation: (I'm gonna use big letters now, 'cause I don't want anyone to miss it)

"Because financially, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to buy him out and then add the cost of another replacement goaltender," said Neumann. "It's going to end up costing you roughly the same amount, and you're not going to get a guy as good as Andrew."

Now the fun part; I get to write a list of things that are as good as Andrew.
1. a bag of pucks
2. one puck
3. an empty bag
4. a cardboard cut-out of Andrew
5. the midget from Love Guru
6. my mother
7. a 4-year old
8. two goalie sticks forming a cross from post to post
9. styrofoam targets in the corners
10. a snowman
11. an extra thick set of goalie pads
12. Garth Snow
13. Ray Emery
14. Curtis Joseph
15. Justin Pogge
16. Scott Clemmenson
17. Tuuka Rask
18. Manon Rheaume
19. You
20. anyone who's ever laced up skates, and even some people who haven't

But don't take my word for it Jordan, if that is your real name. Read the reactions of others here and here. Keep in mind, these are the words of the most diehard Leaf fans, those who bleed true blue, who support this team through thick and thin. Tears have been shed for Darcy Tucker, for Mats, for Kyle "the Lion-hearted", even poor, little Johnny Pohl. Here's a sample:

"Raycroft was close to the worst starting goaltender in the league, and he was just as awful as a backup in 2008. "
"Raycroft is a disease. We must be cleansed of him. Good riddance to bad rubbish."
"Don't let the door slam your butt on the way out Raycroft"
"Back to're being replaced by Scott Clemmensen...that speaks VOLUMES...being replaced by the guy who backed up Brodeur."
"I’d be really surprised to see Raycroft in the NHL again. He can follow Rob Pearson and go play in Germany. Guten tag, mein fuckface!"

That last one was me. If anyone else would like to clear the air, and let Jordon and Andrew know what you really think, feel free to leave your own personal message to them in the comments below. But first, have a look at what Raycroft himself said, a little more then a year ago. In the last game of the season, 2007, with Leaf playoff hopes on the line, Raycroft was pulled after allowing a fourth goal, in favour of Jean-Sebastien Aubin. The Leafs valiantly fought back to win that game, 6-5 over the Habs, and when the game was over, Raycroft was asked how he felt about coach Maurice's decision to pull him out. He called it "The coaching move of the year". I couldn't have agreed more. One year later, the decision to waive Raycroft and remove him from the team might be called "the General Manager move of the year". Just too bad it isn't 2007.


Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

thanks for the dedication, bro! you are hilarious.

as for Raycroft, i hope they'll buy him out. or they could just let him sit in the minors for a year, although his presence is, like i said, a disease.

i'm hoping CUJO returns to Toronto. it would be a great way for him to finish his career, and he's another solid veteran who can provide leadership to a young team. and as a backup goalie, i know he can win more than 2 out of 19 games (fucking raycrap, that bastard)...

general borschevsky said...

Thanks for dropping by eyebleaf. I'd be really happy with Cujo, but secretly I'm hoping we sign Emery. It's far-fetched, but I think it would really mess with their heads in Ottawa.