The Dream Team (Part 2): Defence, Goalies, Management

Hello Sports Fans, and welcome back to the second half of our 2-part mini-series, looking at some of my favorite players to wear a Maple Leafs uniform, and imagining what it would be like to have them all on the same team at the same time. If you missed Part 1: The Forward Lines, check it out, here. And now, let's look at the rest of the line up. Defence, the goalies, and Management.

I'm expecting some disagreement here, and to be honest, I found picking the 6 defencemen way harder then choosing 12 forwards. A lot of very good defencemen have come to Toronto but were not very good Maple Leaf defencemen. Indeed, something about Toronto seems to repeatedly eat up decent defencemen and spit them back. Mathieu Schneider, Jeff Brown, Larry Murphy. Those are the worst of the best. But there's also Phil Housley, Jason Smith, and Kenny Johnson; fairly good defencemen whose impact was minimal. Then there's also popular Leaf defenders, Al Iafrate, Brad Marsh, and Luke Richardson, who never got to enjoy the Leafs' better days. And then finally, there's Bryan McCabe.

Tomas Kaberle-Dimitri Mironov. Kaberle is an obvious choice and doesn't need to be explained. Mironov, on the other hand, is actually my sixth defenceman, I just like the way he pairs up with Tomas. He's like a McCabe that girls don't laugh at. Mironov was called "Tree" because you needed an axe to take him down. His career statistics are not all that impressive, and he had his shortcomings, but in the '94 playoffs he put it all together. In 18 games, Mironov scored 6 goals and added 9 assists for 15 points. The choice was really between Dimitri and McCabe, and it was hard, but I just couldn't have a guy who shot the puck into his own net, and got rag-dolled by Zdeno Chara on my Dream Team.

Borje Salming-Sylvain Lefebvre. Borje is the King. One of the all-time greats, and one of my earliest favorite players. He has a map of the Don Valley Parkway on his face. That's devotion. Salming's conditioning and skill puts him in control of the play whenever he's on the ice. Lefebvre meanwhile, will be looking for anyone with their head down in the trolley tracks. Sylvain's a stay-at-home defenceman who cooks and takes care of the kids. If it wasn't for Lefebvre, and Joe Bowen's call of one magical moment, would DownGoesBrown still exist? Maybe then this blog wouldn't exist either, and you wouldn't be reading this post right now. Heavy, eh? In a weird way, we owe our thanks for this moment to Sylvain Lefebvre.

Todd Gill-Danny Markov. I'm expecting disagreement with this pairing, but I'm open to it. If you don't know why Todd Gill is on the team, you should read this. As for Markov, I just kinda like him. His stats don't do his performance credit. He was a poor man's Darius Kasparaitus. Tough, edgy, and combative, he was also an ambitious risk-taker. This pair is going to give up a lot of scoring chances, but they'll also be entertaining as hell. If Don Cherry wants Rock'em Sock'em hockey, these 2 will provide it. What they lack in common sense they make up for with their hustle and effort. With Gill and Markov's spirit and sacrifice, this Dream Team of millionaires will stay honest and won't go soft, or run from a fight.

Felix Potvin-Curtis Joseph. This was another tough one. I'm going to right a wrong done long ago by bringin' in Cujo, but I'm keeping the Cat as my starting goalie. Felix will start 60% of the games up to the trade deadline, and then we'll take Zigmund Palffy for whichever goalie the NYIslanders want. Honorable mention in this category goes to Mike Palmateer and Grant Fuhr. After the trade for Palffy, an 8th round pick should bring back Damien Rhodes. If you're looking for a "purely back-up" goaltender, he seemed like a really, really nice guy. I always liked him, and he liked us. Seriously, when has a back-up goalie ever cried after he got traded? In a bizarre 3-way deal with the NYIslanders and Senators, Rhodes and Wade Redden went to Ottawa while the Leafs landed Kirk Muller. Rhodes held a press conference to thank the city and to wish his teammates luck and softly wept for the cameras. C'mon back, kid. We didn't mean it.

The Coach: Pat Burns. The GM: Pat Quinn. The President: Cliff Fletcher. Serious hockey for serious minds only. If we stay within our system, the rest will take care of itself. Winning and losing is everyone's responsibility. We win as a team, and if we go down, we go down together. We back each other up and we don't get pushed around. Our goal is only to win the Stanley Cup.

The Owner: Me. Inherited form Harold Ballard due to a clerical error that no one ever noticed. Hey, it's my Dream Team!

Is There A "Todd Gill" That Isn't Todd Gill?

(This post dedicated to CoxBloc for opening the "doors of perception")

I'd like to see a campaign that would bring Todd Gill in as head coach of the Toronto MapleLeafs. I'm not sure what he's doing now, maybe sun-tanning by the pool with "Crazy Legs" Jamie Macoun, or maybe he's studying cultural anthropology and he's writing his thesis. Or maybe he's sportsblogging. I don't know. Whatever he is doing, he should stop failing at it and come to Toronto, be the new Leaf coach, and start failing at that instead.

Todd Gill was one of the guys I was happiest for in'93, 'cause he stuck to it and survived through some very tough times as a MapleLeaf. I remember a TV interview with him before Pat Burns was coach and he wasn't getting much playing time. He said, "I just want to play. I just want to compete and do what it takes to win. I just want to play hockey." I'm paraphrasing only slightly, but that's basically what he said, and it... well, got to me. Todd Gill knows hard work. He knows defeat. He knows about getting up and trying again. He knows there's always a ray of hope. There's always "The Dream". These are the qualities the next head coach of the MapleLeafs is going to need to possess.

We need a "Todd Gill" (and as far as I know there's only the Todd Gill). Not a powerplay specialist. Not a crafty, off-the-cuff, wiley, coy, cagey, smug, sarcastic, intellectual, ex-cop. Not a proven success. We need the opposite. We need stubborn stick-to-it've-ness. Yes, fans used to go to Leaf games with pylons on their heads and point at number 23 and shout, "I'm Todd Gill!", but he had a stick-to-ti've-ness that led the league, and he was as stubborn as they come.

The words "individual effort" and "Todd Gill" don't come together naturally. Todd Gill was a team player. When he scored a goal it was because everyone contributed. That's the kind of player Todd Gill was. That's the kind of coach the Leafs need.

Miracles do happen. Maybe Todd Gill can coach at the NHL level, and maybe, wow, maybe the Leafs will be in the hunt with 5 other teams for the last playoff spot, and then, who knows? (Todd Gill knows, that's who) Anything is possible!

Seriously, is there really a downside to this? If the Leafs went 4-70-8 would that be a bad thing? No, it'd be hysterical and wildly entertaining and we'd at least get one good draft pick. How much damage could Todd Gill do? Would he attempt to rescue a 4-0 blowout by putting in the goalie with the injured groin, whose first game back was 24 hours ago? Would Tucker, Stajan, and Blake defend one goal leads in the final minute? Would the last 2 games of the year be an utter disgrace? Would he have endless conversations with upper management, the media, the walls of his office, his reflection, but never face to face, eye-to-eye with one of his players? I'm not saying anyone else did that, I'm just saying that Todd Gill couldn't possibly do more harm as coach then has already been done.

I'm also totally in favor of bringing back Pat Burns, though not as head coach, but instead in a management-type role, like Executive Administrative Coordinator in charge of Cheeseburgers.

(Todd Gill was named CJHL Coach of the Year for the 2006-7 season, leading the Brockville Braves to a 28-20-6-1 record)